We knew we were meant to be

Friendship...
can take different forms.
It can run like a river,
quietly and sustainingly
through life;
it can be an intermittent
sometime thing;
or it can explode like
a meteor,
altering the atmosphere
so that nothing ever feels
or looks the same again.
~Molly Haskell

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Sunday, August 13, 2006

Whatever I'm thinking, I do not know..

I'm like a bird, I'll only fly awayI don't know where my soul is (soul is)I don't know where my home is(And baby, all I need for you to know is)I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away (fly away)I don't know where my soul is (soul is)I don't know where my home is(And baby, all I need for you to know is)-Nelly Furtado

How I wish i could sing that song still!!!! No commitment, No responsibilities, No anything... The moment I wake up, I have to make decisions, leave the house, decide, reach work..more decision..and on and on..

I just wish I could run away..from everything, fly away from everything.. I'm sick of having to make every decision, to take all the responsibilities.. I have over committed financially and in all other ways.. I just wish I could say, No, I cant help you..Sorry I wont be able to do this..and blah blah blah.. But no..I cant..Why??? I put myself into this position..My family is fully dependent on me, I am now the decision maker of everything at home..I am proud of myself..Yes..I could do this..I could make a different in someones' life..

But I need a life myself..Someone said I'm selfish but then again all I did and been doing is not to my only benefits..Why is life so difficult?? Why is life so complicated??

Every Saturday I would watch Hindi midnight show and I think thats my life only.. I would only be able to dream and fantasize..And then back to reality..Can I just run away from it??

I cant love or fall in love..I dun have the time for that..But what do I really want, I myself do not know..Where I am heading to, I do not know..What is happening to me, I do not know..

What I know is..I need a life..

whatever i'm thinking when blogging this..I do not know..

..Ismawaty..

one of us penned our thoughts at 2:57 AM